My nipple is on Facebook.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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