More tranny stories later!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
