Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
