We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
