Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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