I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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