Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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