Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you will always have a special place in my vag
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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