i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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