i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
