a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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