I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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