We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
