im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
