At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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