i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
operation harelip BJ is a go
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
