Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
