please come you make the beer taste better
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
