Just fell off a train. Bad.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
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