Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
