I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
