Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
