Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
