omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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