I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
