Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
