Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
