And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
