thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
