Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
