The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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