After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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