So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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