you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize