I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I am one with the molecules
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