Whod you bang
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
