it's not cheating when I paid for it
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
