Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
