He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
