Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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