Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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