3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It's just like the Real World with babies
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
