haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
