If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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