i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
