You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
