i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
