He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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