okay pat passed out under dana's car
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
