did you get engaged???
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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