Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
God I need to hump something, right now.
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