eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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