He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
