awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I think people are normalizing furries
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
