you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
