covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
