we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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