nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
